Anxiety/stress

I love a list! If I write things down it is less overwhelming than when it is all in my head. I can then see what things I can do something about and concentrate on them. I can prioritise things and tick them off when done which gives me a sense of achievement as well getting rid of my stress.

When I am stressed I like to cook. It gives me something to focus on and chopping up veg is really good stress relief!

We share loads of ideas during session to boost our mental wellbeing in time of stress. I always look forward to go for this group…As a member of OPFS I feel like a family.

The best thing about the OPFS group is being out of my house and being with other mums…. I feel less stressed and am managing better.

We all feel stressed at times. It’s a natural reaction to pressure. A little stress can be good as it keeps us motivated. But too much stress is bad for our health and wellbeing. Sometimes, it’s something which is happening in our lives that makes us feel stressed. Sometimes, it’s pressure which can build up inside ourselves, such as worrying thoughts which pop into our heads.

Everyone reacts differently to stress. You might feel panicky, restless or be unable to sleep or concentrate. You might react by eating too much, drinking too much alcohol or by doing something else which may be harmful in the long run. Mental health charity Mind has a useful booklet on the symptoms of stress and how to manage it. There are good tips at the links below, including NHS every mind matters which also has video clips and practical exercises. Scottish Association for Mental Health (SAMH) has suggestions on how to feel less stressed in 60 seconds.

If it’s all getting a bit much, the following might help:

• Mind has loads of tips on managing your everyday life and looking after yourself to help you cope. From physical activity, to getting into nature, to relaxation, there’s something for everyone in Mind’s Tips for everyday living.
• The Mental Health Foundation is a great source of podcasts and videos.
• Sometimes the hardest part about feeling stressed and anxious is not knowing who to talk to, or not realising that it’s OK to ask for help or for a listening ear. Mind has lots of useful information and tips about what to do if you aren’t sure how to ask for help. You can read tips on opening up to friends and family about how you’re feeling, or talking to your GP about your mental health.
• SAMH has tips on what to do if you want to talk to your GP about your mental health, as well as the extra support that might be available if you need it.
• OPFS runs local support and activity groups as well as face-to-face services for parents.
• Practise saying NO (kindly) in certain situations. This can be hard at first. But saying no to someone else or to a situation means saying YES to yourself.
• Get some exercise and fresh air each day. It can be a ten-minute walk or a trip to the park with the children. This can make you feel calmer and improve your mood overall.
• Try to eat a healthy diet. Eat regularly and drink plenty water. It’s also important to try and get enough sleep. Take a look at our ‘your body’ page for tips on eating and sleeping well.
• Be kind to yourself! Speak to yourself as you would to a friend. Take a look at our ‘your mind’ page for tips on being kind to yourself.
• Try to plan your time. It might feel impossible at first but it gets easier if you practise. Everyone in the family will benefit from consistency and you get to be in charge of some of your life
• Reach out and get support from others. Take a look at our ‘connections’ page

When to see your GP about stress

If you’ve tried these tips and they aren’t working, it’s a good idea to see your GP. They may suggest other ways of coping for you to try. They may recommend some form of counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).

If your stress is severely impacting your daily life or is causing serious health problems, such as high blood pressure, they might offer you medication, do some further tests or refer you to a specialist.

Useful links

• SAMH have a page on how to feel less stressed in 60 seconds.
• The NHS has free apps to support your health and wellbeing. This includes help with anxiety and stress, self-harm and suicidal thoughts, improving your ‘emotional fitness’ and using breathing techniques to relax. See if there’s one that could work for you.
• There are also free downloadable breathing and relaxation trackers through the NHS steps to stress programme.
• There are tips, videos and exercises for reducing stress at NHS every mind matters.
• The Mental Health Foundation suggests 101 top tips for managing stress and has a booklet and some podcasts on managing stress including breathing and relaxation exercises.
• This NSPCC booklet called ‘Keeping your cool: advice for parents on managing anger and stress‘ could be helpful as well as UK charity Mind’s booklet on stress.
• Breathing Space runs a helpline and has information on its website.

I used to have really bad anxiety but now I can manage it better by using breathing techniques. It is still there but at least I can do things I never used to be able to, like I find it a bit easier going out of the house if I just do the breathing for a few minutes before I go.

Coming to the OPFS group helps me a lot. It brings me out of my anxiety bubble, and meeting and talking to new people. The group gives me something to look forward to instead of hiding in the house all of the time. I also like the one-to-one as it lets me air my feelings and plans. Very helpful and well worth the anxiety that I soon get over.

Anxiety is what you feel when you’re worried, tense or afraid, particularly about things that are about to happen, or which you think could happen in the future. It’s natural to feel like this when we’re unsure about things and think we face some sort of threat. We can experience anxiety through our thoughts and feelings and we can often feel it in our bodies.

Most people feel anxious sometimes. It’s common to feel some anxiety when life is stressful, for example if you have to bring up children on your own, or if you don’t have enough money to live on.

Anxiety can become a problem if you don’t quite understand what’s causing it, if it relates to something traumatic that happened to you in the past, or if you don’t feel like you can cope with it.

If you feel anxious a lot of the time you might have trouble sleeping, get headaches, struggle to plan ahead and have a constant feeling of fear. You can find out more about symptoms of anxiety in this Mental Health Foundation guide. UK charity Mind has useful information and video clips about anxiety and how to cope with it. The Mental Health Foundation has videos and podcasts for wellbeing.

There are things you can do which reduce anxiety and the feelings and sensations that go with it:

• Cut down on caffeine (tea, coffee, fizzy drinks, chocolate) as this speeds your body up.
• Eat regular meals and drink plenty of water as that keeps your blood sugar stable. Take a look at our ‘your body’ page for tips on eating well.
• Get some exercise, outside if possible, every day. It can just be a ten-minute walk or a trip to the park with the children. This can make you feel calmer and improve your mood. Take a look at ‘your body’ page for improving your mood.
• Cut down on your tech. If you watch the news, limit this to once or twice a day. Keep your phone/tablet and other tech out of your bedroom. (You could also try using a separate alarm clock so you’re not tempted to have your phone beside your bed).
• Try to wait at least 30 minutes in the morning before you even look at your phone.
• Learn a few breathing and relaxation techniques (like listening to relaxing music) when you feel anxious. Take a look at our ‘your mind’ page for tips on mindfulness.
• Reduce any unnecessary stress in your life. See more in our stress tips in the section above.
• Try to manage your worries, for example by writing them down in your phone or a journal, setting aside some time to think about them, or by speaking about them to someone you trust.

OPFS runs local support and activity groups and face-to-face services for parents. This can be a great way to find some support and an opportunity to meet other single parents like you.

When to see your GP about anxiety

If you feel anxious all the time for several weeks, or if it feels like your fears are taking over your life, then it’s a good idea to ask your GP for help.

If feelings of anxiety are affecting your ability to carry out your daily life, like avoiding family or not wanting to go out, it could be a sign of an anxiety disorder.

If making or attending an appointment with your GP involves doing something that causes you anxiety (like leaving the house or phoning someone) you could ask for a home visit, a telephone appointment or an appointment at a quiet time. Alternatively, you could ask somebody you trust to come with you to your appointment for some emotional support.

Useful links

• Mind has self-care tips for anxiety.
• Mental Health Foundation has information on anxiety and a booklet on how to overcome fear and anxiety
• Penumbra has a factsheet on anxiety.
• If you are struggling and want to check if you have symptoms of anxiety, you could try this NHS mood self-assessment.
• The NHS has a list of free apps to support your health and wellbeing. This includes help with anxiety and stress, self-harm and suicidal thoughts and some tips on improving your ‘emotional fitness’ and using breathing techniques to relax. Check if there’s an app that could work for you.
• The NHS also has audio guides with tips on how to deal with issues like anxiety, sleep problems, low confidence and unhelpful thinking, as well as free downloadable breathing and relaxation trackers through the NHS steps to stress programme.
• NHS Moodjuice has downloadable self-help guides based on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which can be an effective treatment for anxiety.
• Anxiety UK has useful information about anxiety and self-help tips.
• Breathing Space runs a Helpline and has information on its website. Call their free Helpline on 0800 83 85 87.